Looking back on my life, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I have been a poor listener. And while I’m a much better listener today than I was, I still feel I have a long way to go. As I look (and listen) to those around me, however, I feel like I have a lot of company.

People love to be listened to. So much so, in fact, they will pay therapists enormous fees to listen to their stories and complaints. Consumers loved to be listened to as well. They will happily pay top dollar for those people who are smart enough to understand that this is what they want – and what they demand. Unfortunately, only a tiny percentage of business persons do understand, or are willing to implement, this important notion.

What does your customer or client REALLY want? Do you know? Are you guessing? Have you asked? If you have asked, are you giving him/her what he/she wants? Or are you giving him/her what you think they want or need? The difference in how you answer these question may well be the difference between success and failure.

An interesting and eye-opening exercise is this: Pretend that you are a therapist. Listen very carefully to what your customer is saying. As probing questions like, What do you really want? and What would make you even happier with our product or service? Be genuine and listen like you have never listened before. Listen from your heart. Make it absolutely clear to your customer/client that the only thing that matters to you is that they are happy and that he/she is getting Exactly what they want and expect.

If you are running a small restaurant, for example, ask your customers if they would be willing to sit down with you for five minutes. Tell them you want to find out what would make their dining experience a little nicer than it is already. Ask them what they like about your restaurant, what they don’t like, why they come in, and so forth. Listen carefully and respectfully.

When you listen in this manner you may be shocked at the positive response. When people feel that they are listened to, they also feel appreciated and valued. Feeling listened to is such a rare experience that when someone does listened to they tend to tell other about it. When your listening ear is genuine, you will create raving fans and customers who will love you will want to do business with you. Listening is like a magic formula that turns ordinary people into loyal, happy customers. One final tip: If you’re married and/or have children, the same principle applies. If you want a closer relationship with your spouse, kids, or significant other, the best place to start is by becoming a better listener!