It is extremely rare to find a successful person who whines, complains, and frets about his or her circumstances. This is despite the fact that he or she may have overcome great obstacles to achieve their level of success. On the other hand, it is extremely common for struggling individuals to continually blame their circumstances for their lack of joy and abundance. The real question is: What cam first – the attitude or the success? The answer in virtually in all cases is that the winning, positive attitude came first, followed by a lifetime of abundance.

Your circumstances are what they are; they were what they were. If you are forty five years old and were a middle child, you’re still going to be a middle child when you’re ninety five. If you are black or white; a woman or a man; or if you were abused, taken advantage of, or bankrupt – these facts cannot change. If your parents couldn’t afford to send you to college or if you had to work your way though school, shovel snow in your driveway, or walk ten miles to school – these are all things in your past. It’s time to get over them and MOVE ON!

You’ll find that life will be a lot easier and much more fun when you make the decision – sad, angry, victimized, suspicious, and/or self-righteous. When you argue for you limitations, your thoughts and words merely get in your way and greatly interfere with you ability to create. With complaining out of the way, you’ll create the space for an explosion of creativity and brilliance. You’ll be able to be more focused and oriented to the present moment. Instead of focusing on problems, you’ll begin to see solutions. Instead of maintaining an “I can’t attitude, you’ll quickly develop a more positive vision for yourself.

All is takes is a simple decision; the decision to stop yourself from falling into the complaining habit. At first it may be difficult – even funny – to observe how often you complain. Habits can be hard to break. But in the is case, it’s well worth the effort. As an excuse or complaint comes to mind, gently shoo it away like you would flies at a picnic. Don’t worry about it too much. You’ll quickly get used to the nicer feelings that come from a life without complaints, as well as the success that comes with your new winning attitude!

As you probably already know, the wrong partnership – professional or personal – can be far worse than no partnership. And a winning partnership can be worth its weight in gold. Sometimes however, fear can keep us from seeking out good partners and forming winning partnerships. Many people worry that they will have to share the profits, decision-making authority, and/or prestige that come with a project or business. A fearful attitude, of course, won’t allow us to do this. As always, it is a good idea to overcome this fear so that you will know whether forming a winning partnership is in your best interest.

There are a few important points to consider when deciding if a partnership is right for you. If the members of a partnership do essentially the same thing, it’s almost inevitable that one will be harder working and have more commitment than the other. Often, that partner begins to resent the other partner’s pushing. It’s generally not a winning partnership. For example, two trial attorneys go into a legal partnership. At the end of the year, one or the other might wonder what benefit he received from the partnership. After all, each is fully capable of doing the other’s job. But, if a trial attorney and a corporate attorney go into partnership, usually each one, at the end of the year says, “Thank God for my partner – I don’t know what I would do without her.”

Ideally, each partner brings to the table different skills and attributes. One might be excellent at details and planning, the other in promotion and public speaking. Or one might be excellent in sales, the other in marketing. A good partnership is like a good marriage – it has to be formed carefully. If you can create the right combination of skills, work ethic, and vision you can create a winning team.

Here’s a classic example of a winning partnership. Alan and George each had poor financial years the past few years. Alan is a superb real estate deal maker and has an artistic flair. Although he could negotiate to purchase building lots and negotiate to sell, he did not have any serious product or any true expertise in building custom homes. George is a superior tradesman and building contractor, but he as been working only about half time. He didn’t have the foresight to locate great building sites or the courage to be a tough negotiator. They formed a partnership. Right from the start, their partnership was a match made in heaven. In their very first year of working together, they each had their most successful year ever. It’s true that they had to split their profits, but their combination of skills quadrupled their ability to produce. The key is that the partnership does something that neither could do by themselves. Now, George is busy full time building custom homes, the thing he does best. Alan is busy negotiating to purchase lots for future building, working on design, subcontracting, and negotiating material pricing. Although it sounds unbelievable, the partnership is able to complete a beautiful custom home, start to finish, in a matter of months. This is a winning partnership.

You may be the most talented person on earth, but until you hook up with a good partner, you may never truly unleash that talent. Rather than spending your energy trying to do everything, you and your new partner can each focus on what she or he does best.

Let Kolikoff & Company be your partner in Sales, Marketing and Business Development. For more go to www.kolikoff.com or call 623-455-6155

You’d be amazed at what people can (and will) do if you not only give them a chance but also believe in their potential. It’s important to know that everyone has unique gifts and talents out into the world. In other words, rather than sitting back and waiting for people to be perfect – and being frustrated when they are not – take some responsibility in the process by creating an ideal psychological working environment.

There’s an old motto in business: Give someone a reputation to live up to and watch them shine. It’s really true. Most people, given the right environment, are hard working, talented, creative, and productive. They want to please others just as you and I want to. Unfortunately, however, most people are hardly ever exposed to an ideal working environment.

What happens to someone when she is insecure, resentful, or frightened? Very simply, she loses most of her motivation to please you as well as most of her other positive work related qualities. Consider the following example: You have an assistant. Every day when he walks in the door, you remind him how incompetent he is. You point out his weaknesses and flaws. You belittle him in front of other people. Then you walk out the door. The question is, how does your assistant feel? It’s hard to know for sure, because people react differently to the same set of facts. But it’s a good bet that he’s either frightened, insecure, resentful of you, or, most likely, all of the above. His job performance is going to be suspect. If you are disappointed in him, you are missing the point! In my book, you haven’t done your job.

Wouldn’t you increase your odds of securing a dedicated, hard-working assistant if you treated him with enormous, genuine respect? Wouldn’t your assistant be more likely to work hard and keep your best interests in mind if you were to treat him with kindness, reminding him frequently how much you appreciate him, pointing out to him when he does something right? Ideally, we want everyone to feel good about themselves, to feel confident and secure; to feel as if they are talented, competent, and creative. This way everyone wins.

When you encourage creativity in others and have faith in them, it’s analogous to creating the ideal conditions for a garden. You are “planting the seeds” for an environment where success is the most likely to occur. When you plant a garden, you want to have the right type of soil, moisture, and sunshine. When you build people up – instead of pushing them down – you create the psychological equivalent. The same principle applies whether you are hiring a housekeeper, an attorney, and accountant, a publicist, or anyone else. It also applies to your children, you spouse, your significant other, your friends and your neighbors. It always works: When you believe in someone and when that person knows that you believe in her, magical things can happen. From this point on, see if you can expect great things from people. Do your part by creating the ideal working conditions. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Then sit back and watch what happens.

Looking back on my life, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I have been a poor listener. And while I’m a much better listener today than I was, I still feel I have a long way to go. As I look (and listen) to those around me, however, I feel like I have a lot of company.

People love to be listened to. So much so, in fact, they will pay therapists enormous fees to listen to their stories and complaints. Consumers loved to be listened to as well. They will happily pay top dollar for those people who are smart enough to understand that this is what they want – and what they demand. Unfortunately, only a tiny percentage of business persons do understand, or are willing to implement, this important notion.

What does your customer or client REALLY want? Do you know? Are you guessing? Have you asked? If you have asked, are you giving him/her what he/she wants? Or are you giving him/her what you think they want or need? The difference in how you answer these question may well be the difference between success and failure.

An interesting and eye-opening exercise is this: Pretend that you are a therapist. Listen very carefully to what your customer is saying. As probing questions like, What do you really want? and What would make you even happier with our product or service? Be genuine and listen like you have never listened before. Listen from your heart. Make it absolutely clear to your customer/client that the only thing that matters to you is that they are happy and that he/she is getting Exactly what they want and expect.

If you are running a small restaurant, for example, ask your customers if they would be willing to sit down with you for five minutes. Tell them you want to find out what would make their dining experience a little nicer than it is already. Ask them what they like about your restaurant, what they don’t like, why they come in, and so forth. Listen carefully and respectfully.

When you listen in this manner you may be shocked at the positive response. When people feel that they are listened to, they also feel appreciated and valued. Feeling listened to is such a rare experience that when someone does listened to they tend to tell other about it. When your listening ear is genuine, you will create raving fans and customers who will love you will want to do business with you. Listening is like a magic formula that turns ordinary people into loyal, happy customers. One final tip: If you’re married and/or have children, the same principle applies. If you want a closer relationship with your spouse, kids, or significant other, the best place to start is by becoming a better listener!