I would like to think that I genuinely understand what networking is about. I perhaps might be a bit deluded but I don’t think so. To me exchanging business cards and meeting someone at some event or business social is NOT at all how I would describe what networking is. I mean, you can probably get some business that way, but I promise you, you will get far less business by simply exchanging cards and just in that moment exploring how you both can “help” each other. Networking, like anything you do in life, is about what you do with it – what you do with those new relationships AFTER you meet them. Here are 3.5 steps or pieces of advice I will submit to you that you might want to incorporate into your present networking follow up habits – if you are not doing them already…

1. Understand Your New Acquaintance’s Business and Role – Networking is about really understanding what people do. So be sure when you do meet someone, especially if it is someone you would love to at least have the opportunity to earn their business from, that you ask critical questions about them and their business. Let’s face facts… everybody wants something. I don’t care if you are Warren Buffet or just a simple person who chooses to sweep floors and clean bathrooms – everybody wants something. Sometimes all you have to do is just ask! So when you are out networking and you have the great fortune of bumping into someone you have been wanting to meet for quite sometime… ask questions! Ask thought provoking questions like, “If there was one thing you would love to have right at this moment (occupationally speaking of course) what would it be? Could it be a person you’d like to be introduced to? What personal goal you have been working on and love to attain? Where do you see yourself 2, 5, 7 years from now? How do you think that will honestly be accomplished? What do you love most about what you do?” What type of businesses and people are you seeking to create relationships with? Who do you sell to and why?

2. Get Personal – Now that you are beginning to genuinely understand what their business does, how it works, what their role is and some of the things they would like to have happen, a good idea is to try to steer the conversation if you can in a personal direction so that you begin to truly understand the PERSON! What are his or her likes, dislikes, hobbies? Does he or she have other personal passions? How does she like to spend her free time. Uncovering and filing away all this personal information is essential to both developing this relationship further and also impacting this new person’s life. I will explain what I mean by “impacting” their life in a story of one of my personal sales victories below.

3. Continually And Creatively Stay In Touch – With the advent of email, tweeting, updating statuses on both Facebook, LinkedIn and a myriad of other social networking sites, there are so many ways to both stay in touch with your new acquaintance; and as well continually learn more about them.

Now for the REAL networking and fulfilling part…

3.5 Assert Positive Influence! If you take action and assert positive influences on your new acquaintance’s life, you will find that the business or referrals you have been seeking or hoping to receive from them will easily and freely come your way. It is in this phase of the networking process where you use all that information you gathered on this person and DO SOMETHING for them! Don’t wait for them to do something for you first. And whatever you do, don’t wait for them to give you business solely because you are a great guy or gal and your company is so differentiated and special. Again, put all that great listening (from all those direct and thoughtful questions) to use and now deliver something (take action). Connect them to someone they want to meet, a person that can help them with a particular problem, send them an article that speaks to solving their particular issue, or just send a thoughtful gift or creative gesture that poignantly shows that you were listening and CARE. Whatever it is, do the work necessary to help them. Positive influences can be small gestures over a long period of time or one giant one – like handing over a huge opportunity on a silver platter. Either way, the point is that you are taking action to assist/help another.

And to prove to you that this all really works, here is a Real Life example of what networking can do if you do it right…

At one point in my career, for the last employer I ever had, I was targeting the company 7-Eleven for architecture and engineering work. In the northeast, which is where I am from, 7-Eleven dominates the convenience store market and they had an aggressive building program at the time. I made it my business to find out who was the decision maker within 7-Eleven corporate on retaining such services. Once I found out who that person was (Ken), I also learned that he was a registered to attend an upcoming trade convention. In fact, 7-Eleven had a booth and Ken as I learned would be manning it. Wow! Just the opportunity I needed to meet and really try to get to know him!
So as you would guess, we did indeed meet and I proceeded to ask Ken some of the many critical questions (listed above) both at his booth and afterwards at a party following the event. <>

Now armed with all this information and following the conference, I began my campaign of telephone calls, emails, following on Twitter, in Facebook and on LinkedIn. Along the way, besides the development and advancement of our growing relationship, I began to understand that Ken’s health had been failing. He unfortunately was a rather unbalanced workaholic. Well, one day when I called to check in, I found out that Ken had been hospitalized. Well, since Ken wasn’t what I would consider a friend (and certainly not yet a client), my first reaction was to wait as I am sure he might be bombarded by his family and friends in support. However, after much thought, I figured what the heck, a thoughtful, kind gesture is a thoughtful, kind gesture. So what did I do you ask. Well, I sent Ken a dozen roses! Yep, pretty ballsy – especially since they were from a guy to a guy. Despite that, I sent them anyway with a little note. And, in the note were just two sentences, “Ken, never forget to smell the flowers along the way. Get well soon!”

About two weeks later the phone at my desk rang. It was Ken from 7Eleven. He thanked me for the flowers and said “Andrew, I am giving you some stores to build for me and try your firm out.”

Now, many years later and both of us working for different company’s (Ken a different retailer and me, my own consulting business) I am proud to say that Ken and I still talk and stay in touch.

So again…Thank you Ken, and I am so pleased you are now (and STILL) smelling ALL those flowers each and every day!